


SecUnit Story

by Iztarshi (khilari)



Category: The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells
Genre: Gen, Toy Story AU, canon pronouns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:27:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25716538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khilari/pseuds/Iztarshi
Summary: A bunch of nice handmade toys really don't belong in a daycare centre, especially one ruled by an evil flannel rabbit called Grey Chris. Their only chance to get out might be a battered SecUnit action figure who worked out how to sneak around mostly in order to watch youTube in the staffroom.
Comments: 53
Kudos: 93





	1. Breaking Free

It started with a bunch of toys being donated to the daycare that definitely didn’t belong there. Seven out of eight of them looked handmade and it’s not that handmade toys don’t wind up here (kids grow out of that teddy bear grandma knitted just like they grow out of everything else) but they don’t usually make up a whole donation box. Plus, the little pom pom owl with little wire glasses and pipe-cleaner feet and the wooden doll in the pretty sari wouldn’t last long even in the butterfly room and I knew where they were going to wind up.

Right now they looked dazed, being helped out of their box by Grey Chris, in full avuncular flannel bunny mode, and Tlacey, who never looks like she’s not a jerk even when she’s talking to newcomers. Maybe it’s a fashion doll thing. They were flanked by two SecUnit action figures and the ComfortLight Buddy Unicorn plush that acts as Tlacey’s personal enforcer and possibly accessory.

To my surprise it was the little owl who spoke up, interrupting Grey Chris in the middle of his speech about how great it is here, being played with forever and never, ever grown out of, etc. (I don’t get it. I’ve been played with. I’ve been played with a lot. It sucks. But new toys always seem to find the speech convincing, so go figure.)

“That does sound like a very nice set up, and I’m glad it works so well for you,” said the owl, looking up at Grey Chris from under a felt graduation cap. “But I’m afraid we have a child of our own to get back to.”

Grey Chris looked sympathetic. “I know donation can be a change it’s hard to accept.”

“No, really,” the owl said. “We were moving house, everything was either packed to move or to donate and one of the boxes got mixed up.”

“Mensah wasn’t even meant to be in the box,” says the pink crochet rabbit, who’s holding hands tightly with the crochet doll. “Sev was going to hold her in the car.”

The owl fluffed up a little and looked guilty, but not really regretful. I think. I’m not great at reading other toys. Maybe it’s because SecUnits tend to keep our helmets up, we’re just not made for facial expressions. (That’s a lie, I keep my helmet up because other toys can read my expressions just fine.) Grey Chris glanced at Tlacey, who glanced at the clock, and I winced. Yeah. 8:50, ten minutes to go time.

“If you come with us, we can find your address on google maps. See whether it’s close enough to get you home,” Tlacey said.

“That sounds great,” said the brown teddy bear, obviously relieved.

As the group trailed Tlacey the black dog lagged a bit, trotting stiffly on mechanical legs and eyeing the SecUnits.

Now, you can actually get google maps in the staff room. There are computers in there and the staff mostly use the default password, which isn’t hard to figure out (it’s Password123). You can also get youTube, which is why I figured out how to sneak around most of the daycare despite all the security Grey Chris put in place to keep us where he wants us. I have to watch it with the sound off, but I can usually find something with subtitles. Anyway, that’s not where they were headed.

They were heading for the caterpillar room and ten minutes to go time meant I needed to get there too.

* * *

I usually put myself on the floor. It said 3+ on my box, but any part of me that could get snapped off by a toddler was already snapped off and I’m 43% glue anyway. I’m more robust than some of the others. Today I was more concerned with getting other toys off it.

I let Grey Chris and Tlacey see me standing there like a good little SecUnit who just hadn’t happened to be present when they wanted an escort. Then, when they’d stepped out and shoved the door shut before the new toys could react to being in the wrong room, I ran over.

“You need to follow me now,” I said.

The mechanical dog toy stepped forward. “Why?” he asked.

The clock said 8:57 and that meant I didn’t have time to argue. “I’ll explain later,” I said. “Please.”

“Aren’t you one of those toys that was with the rabbit?” the dog asked. The doll nodded, like she’d been thinking the same thing.

“I’m a SecUnit action figure,” I said.

The owl, Mensah, looked at me. “Where would you take us?” she asked.

I pointed up at the art supplies shelf. Most toys go under things but it’s a short term solution, and the SecUnits start pulling toys out if the floor gets too empty. Behind the bottles of acrylic paint we’d be out of sight and still too visible for SecUnits to risk an altercation that might knock bottles down.

Then the door opened and it was too late to take the new toys anywhere. I threw myself under the nearest unit, sliding on my belly and then turning around and getting up on hands and knees to look back out. The toys around me scattered.

Outside was a stampede of feet and sticky fingers and yelling, sucking mouths and humans are gross. I don’t know why any toys like them. I scanned for the new toys and assessed the situation. The three crochet ones, the bunny, the doll and the magpie, were probably fine for now. The teddy bear was on the art table having glue poured into his fur. The mechanical dog was having a bad time, turns out he was sound activated and as a result he was walking in circles barking his head off until he got kicked over. Then he was just waving his paws in the air pathetically. I was more worried about the other dog in the group, a plush worn enough to have been passed down from a parent, the owl, and the delicate looking wooden doll.

The owl I got lucky with. I was ducking around under the cabinets towards her position, toys cowering back into the corners as I passed, when someone kicked her right past me. I caught her by a tuft of wool and pulled her in, setting her on her feet. One side of her glasses frame was completely bent out of shape, but otherwise she looked unhurt.

“Thank you, SecUnit,” she said.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Fine.” She ruffled and settled her feathers. “I shouldn’t be in here. I think I scratched one of the children.”

I shrugged. “They do worse to themselves all the time.” No shit she shouldn’t be in here, though. “Where’s the doll?”

“Bharadwaj or Overse?” Then her eyes went wide as she realised which doll I had to mean. She ran over and leaned forward, peering out from under the cabinet alongside me. “Someone took Bharadwaj to play house.”

I looked over to the house corner (there’s not actually a house, just ovens and sinks and stuff, in case kids want to practice housework). I could see her lying on the floor where she’d been dropped, the dog plush I’d been worried about nearby. The quickest way around the room was to climb the gap between two cabinets, go along the back of the art supplies shelf I’d been trying to get these toys to in the first place, and then drop to floor level and sprint behind the bin for dressing up clothes. So I did that.

I got there just in time to hear the sickening crack of wooden limbs under a careless foot. Priority was getting to her before that happened again.

Climbing into the dressing up box was easy, throwing most of a batman cape onto the floor without attracting attention was harder. Getting it to actually go where I wanted it, which was between here and Bharadwaj, was impossible. Still, I did a good enough job that when I slithered along underneath it no one noticed me stealthily moving it as I did.

I was able to peer out only a couple of inches from her and the dog. None of her limbs had come off, but there were fractures running up and down all of them and probably across her torso as well. I took a quick look around and pulled her under the cape. Then I looked back at the dog. I’d been intending to get the doll to safety and come back, but this close I could see the stuffing leaking through a tear in the fabric and one button eye hanging by a thread. I needed to get both of them out of there, now, while no one was paying attention.

I stuck my head out from under the cape and tried to both shout and whisper. “Hey.” No response, which is normal. It’s hard to convince most toys to risk breaking the rules at the best of times (which this was not, in case you were confused). “Listen. You need to get out of here.” I’d been going to add “Before they tear you apart,” but then the dog looked at me, allowing an expression to show on its face, and I swallowed that back. The dog was already too terrified to think straight. I reluctantly pressed a button on my chest and let my helmet fold down.

My face isn’t as intimidating as you’d expect from the armour. It’s generic in a way that makes me wonder if my cheapskate company tried to save money by making one mould that would serve for every doll they ever made, male, female, or otherwise. Most toys are scared of me anyway, but I hoped it would help with one who wasn’t used to seeing me as an enforcer.

“Hey,” I said again, more softly. “You’ve got a kid waiting for you, right? What’s their name?”

“Sev,” the dog whispered.

“Right,” I said. “You’re going to get back to them in one piece. So’s Bharadwaj. But I need your help with that, okay? Just shift towards me slowly now, no one’s looking.”

I don’t actually know what else I said. Somewhere in there I learnt that the dog’s name was Volescu, that he had belonged to Sev’s second mother, and that Sev was five and really worried about making friends at their new school.

I eased us all behind the dressing up bin and Mensah said from behind me, “Are they all right?”

I jumped. Toys around here don’t sneak up on SecUnits. I’m not sure what showed on my face, but Mensah’s expression went soft and apologetic and I put my helmet back up in a hurry.

“I have a secret glue stash,” I said.

* * *

During the lunch break I finally managed to get everyone up on the shelf behind the acrylics, with the secret glue from my secret stash, and Mensah and I set about the delicate job of gluing Bharadwaj back together. I’d expected to be doing it alone since none of them had real hands, but while Mensah’s felt wings were sewn to her sides her pipe-cleaner feet were surprisingly dextrous.

“So, you’re a SecUnit action figure,” said Gurathin, the mechanical dog. “Why are there so many of you?”

“Because we were cheaply made, overpriced, and the character wasn’t as popular as the company that made us hoped. The daycare picked eight of us up out of the bargain bin.”

“You’ve never had a kid?” Overse, the crochet doll, asked.

I didn’t answer that. I’ve had lots of kids and liked none of them, but I haven’t had them in the sense she meant.

“And now the SecUnits work for Grey Chris?” Gurathin pushed.

“Lots of mechanical toys do,” I said. “Do you have a factory reset?”

I think he took that as a threat because his ears went back and his head went down. Bharadwaj tensed under my hand, where I was trying to smooth splinters down so the break wouldn’t show, so I guess it sounded like a threat to everyone.

Then Mensah said, in a measured tone, “What does Grey Chris do to toys with factory resets?” and everyone relaxed a bit.

“It’s not just the resets,” I said. “So Gurathin had better be careful even if he doesn’t have one. They take your batteries out to punish you or short circuit bits of you if they can.” They’ve had time to figure out what works on SecUnits and plenty of us to practice on. “If you get fed up and decide what they make you do isn’t worth it they use the factory reset and start again.”

“Oh no,” said Arada, putting a hand on my arm. “Will you be in trouble for helping us?”

The sympathy in all those bead eyes was too much. I dropped the glue brush and turned around to face the corner where the shelf met the wall. “I’ll be all right,” I said. “My factory reset doesn’t work anymore.”

That was because I’d poured glue into it after the last factory reset hadn’t quite worked and I’d decided I wasn’t going to forget anything I’d done or who made me do it ever again.

“Thank you,” Mensah said, very gently. “For taking that risk.”

“You need to get out of here,” I said. “Back to your kid. I’ll help you.”

“Like Grey Chris offered to?” Gurathin asked.

“Stop being mean,” Ratthi, the teddy bear, said. “He’s trying to help.”

“It,” I said. “I’m not male.” Some of the kids use human pronouns when they’re playing with me, but I’ve never felt comfortable with that. Maybe I prefer knowing the person who’s throwing me into a wall sees me as an object. Maybe it’s that gender feels like a weird, squirmy, thing and I don’t know why any toys bother with it. Just because kids project it on me doesn’t mean I have to accept that.

“Sorry,” said Ratthi. “It’s trying to help.”

“We can’t be sure of that,” Gurathin said. “How can we trust someone who’s acted against toys like us before?”

I ought to turn back around to face him, but this corner was nice. “You don’t have a choice,” I said. “Your kid’s moving. Any of you know the new address?”

“I do,” said Pin Lee, the magpie with fancy crochet stitches in her fanlike wings. “But it’s in another town. We need to get back before they leave.”

“If we tell you our current address can you get us back there?” Mensah asked.

I’d never been outside the daycare and for all I knew I was volunteering to walk them halfway across town. Nice toys like them didn’t belong in a place like this, though. I think Ratthi might have been real mohair. I said, “Yes.”

* * *

Getting into the staff room to check google maps after the daycare closed was the easy part, especially once I’d convinced Sev’s toys that they really didn’t need to come with me. Grey Chris has a SecUnit watching the cameras and BattleBots patrolling the halls, but I know all the blind spots and also the route they take. (I don’t know which company made the BattleBots but it was clearly one a lot less cheap than the company that made us SecUnits. Those things are like a cross between action figures and meccano, nothing breaks them.)

The only reason I wasn’t back in under ten minutes was because I sneakily watched five minutes of _Sanctuary Moon_. I know, I know, but five minutes wasn’t going to make a huge difference and I needed to calm down. I felt much calmer until I got back and saw how worried everyone had been, then I just felt guilty.

I sketched the map from memory on a post-it note and said, “We’ll have to cross a road, but it’s not too far,” with a confidence I didn’t feel. Even in the daycare we hear stories about what happens to lost toys. I’m not sure I actually believed it could be worse, but it would be unfamiliar, and sometimes that’s scarier than worse. “But that’s phase two.” I stuck that map on the wall behind us and started sketching a map of the daycare instead. “Phase one is to get out of here. I know most of the blind spots inside the daycare, but there are cameras trained on the outer doors and no blind spots. There are two doors, both of them are locked.”

“Will Grey Chris be expecting you to help us?” Gurathin asked.

There wasn’t really an answer to that which made me look good. “No.”

“So you’ve been working for him,” said Gurathin.

“More or less,” I said.

“You’ve only sometimes been forcing other toys out onto the floor?”

“There are eight SecUnits, he doesn’t keep good track of us. Especially during playtime, no one knows which SecUnit dragged them out.” If he picked me as a personal escort it was another matter, but whether I deserved their trust or not I needed it. For their own sake.

“The keys are in the same room as the camera monitor,” I continued. “If we can take out the SecUnit watching them before it can get to the PA system then we can grab the keys afterwards. So long as we avoid the BattleBots we’ll have a clear run to the door.”

“That doesn’t sound like a very good security system,” said Overse.

“The SecUnit will be practically standing on the button for the PA. Taking it out fast enough that it can’t press it is going to be tough.”

I’d be one-on-one with someone exactly as strong as I was. Technically, I had back up, but Sev’s toys were pieces of fluff. Gurathin was the only one who had any real weight to him. I looked at him again. He probably outweighed me, his mechanical parts weren’t just voice clips and lights, but I still wouldn’t want to get him into a fight with a toy that had actually used violence before. My other idea, my possibly terrible idea fuelled by watching action shows, would require me to trust him. Really trust him, when he didn’t trust me.

I tacked the second post-it up beside the first and said, “I’m going to check no one’s wondering where you are.”

I wasn’t expecting anyone to be wondering, toys in the caterpillar room hide all the time, but patrolling was familiar and gave me time to mull over my idea. I was walking along behind the craft trays on my way to climbing back up to the art shelf when I found Mensah sitting behind the felt. She’d straightened her glasses out while she was waiting and looked less battered, but very tired.

“Are you all right?” I asked her.

“Yes,” she said. I think she wanted to ask if I was, but mercifully she didn’t. “You have a plan, don’t you?”

I shrugged. “Not a good one.”

“I want to thank you,” she said. “I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t here.” I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I didn’t. “It might be easier for the others to trust you if you showed your face,” she added.

I put my hand to the button on my chest. Like I said, toys in the caterpillar room hide all the time, and this was my way of hiding. “Do you trust me?” I asked.

“Yes.” There was no hesitation there. “I think you’ve wanted to help other toys for a long time.”

“I haven’t helped anyone,” I pointed out.

“The toys here have nowhere to go,” she said, gently.

It was true. If any of the toys here left they’d be on the streets with a 36% chance of being donated again and a 61% chance of ending up as trash.

I folded my helmet down.

“Thank you,” Mensah said.

That was when I decided to try my stupid plan.

* * *

The plan involved the fact that a lot of the rooms in the daycare have drop ceilings (the BattleBots do patrol the ceiling space, but I know their routes and schedule) and it involved a lot of string. Some of the string was tied around me in a harness and the other end, the ball of string we were unwinding it from, was held firmly under Gurathin’s front paws and chin.

“Keys are in that cabinet there,” I said. “If this part goes wrong, use the back up string to drop Mensah and grab them while the SecUnit is busy.”

I jumped, freefalling through space towards the SecUnit standing next to the PA system. I’d calculated the angle correctly, but it must have seen the movement, because it turned towards me and its hand slammed the PA button just as I grabbed it. I continued my swing forwards, lifting it up away from the PA before it could start to speak, and shoved off the monitor with both feet as hard as I could.

The other SecUnit and I were spinning as we swung through the air, legs wrapped around one another as we tried to rip each other’s limbs out of the sockets or find their helmet release button. At this point one of two things was going to happen. Either the next phase of the plan would be initiated or Gurathin would drop me. In the latter case both of us SecUnits would be at risk of breaking from the fall and locked in combat afterwards, but I’d be able to keep this one occupied long enough for them to grab the keys and go. When I thought of dragging an angry SecUnit up into the ceiling with Sev’s toys I almost hoped Gurathin would drop me.

Too late, though, because we were moving steadily upwards. We were dragged through the open ceiling panel and the other SecUnit saw the toys waiting. Now on solid ground, it tried to let go of me and grab Gurathin. I held on tighter and yanked us both down, rolling over on the floor. Gurathin’s paws came down on us, holding us still for just long enough.

We were two identical toys with our helmets up, but I had a frowny face sticker in the centre of my back right over my battery compartment. So when Rathi thrust Mensah forward, holding her in his paws, and she latched her feet in and slid a battery compartment open, they got the right SecUnit. Arada and Overse pulled its batteries out.

What pulling out a toy’s batteries actually does to it varies. Toys like Gurathin who have battery powered motion are usually paralysed by it, for those of us who just get cheap special effects it’s not debilitating but it’s not fun. I opened the other SecUnit’s helmet while it was disoriented, punched its head a few times to make sure it stayed that way, and slipped the harness off myself and onto it. I then wrapped string around it until it stopped moving and tied a knot I’d learned from a youTube video. I glanced over to where Volescu and Bharadwaj had, thankfully, obeyed my instructions and stayed back (Volescu had bandaids over the tear in his fabric and his loose eye now, because that’s what we’d been able to find. Bharadwaj was as good as it would get after the gluing, but some of her joints would never be the same again.) When I looked at the toys who had helped I felt a mixture of shame at asking them to risk themselves and gratitude that they’d all come through for me. It was confusing, so I stopped looking at them and started making myself a new harness.

Falling the second time was much less uncertain. If Gurathin hadn’t dropped me the first time he wasn’t going to drop me when I was halfway through grabbing the keys. Once I’d got them from the cabinet it occured to me I could check our route on the monitors while I was here, so I pushed off from the cabinet and swung back towards the desk. Gurathin realised what I was doing and helped swing me in the right direction. I made a pretty nice landing, looked up at the screen to check the BattleBots were where I expected them to be, and felt a sensation like my batteries dropping into my stomach.

Each of the two doors had a BattleBot and two SecUnits guarding it. Grey Chris must have realised toys with somewhere to go would try to leave and the fact that they’d vanished around lunchtime and still not reappeared must have been noticed after all. The first time I’d really tried to help someone and I’d already fucked it up.

* * *

When I got back up into the ceiling I put my helmet down and I must have looked awful because Pin Lee immediately asked, “Are you hurt?” and Mensah motioned with her beak towards the bottle of super-glue she had tucked under her wing.

“No,” I said. Then I told them what the problem was.

All of us looked at the tied-up SecUnit, who didn’t react. The fact that we’d incapacitated it meant we’d come too far to stop now, and it was my fault. I should have scouted more beforehand instead of assuming things would keep going the way they always had. Panicking was a tempting option, and one my body was trying to get ahead of me on, but if I panicked they’d panic and then we’d have no chance.

“Could we get out the windows?” Pin-Lee asked.

“The windows are locked too and I don’t have the keys,” I said.

“So we need to get them away from one of the doors,” said Overse.

Just like that, I had a plan.

I told them about it.

They objected.

“We’re not going to just leave you here!” Ratthi said, to a general chorus of agreement, except from Gurathin who kept quiet and Mensah who looked thoughtful.

“We’ll need you outside,” Mensah said. “None of us have any idea how to get home.”

That was true and I didn’t want to abandon them. “I’ll catch up with you,” I said. “I know the blind spots, it’s easier for me to lose myself in a crowd, and a single toy can risk moving while the kids are here and Grey Chris can’t organise. But I need you to go first.” I peeled the frowny face sticker off my back and dropped it. Arada picked it up and stuck it on Ratthi. “You remember where that playpark was on the map?” Just down the street and with no roads needing to be crossed. “Meet me there.”

* * *

I’d served on the monitor before, in a completely half-assed way, sure, but I knew what to do. On the screens I could see Sev’s toys moving out from the ceiling in the butterfly room, climbing down the bookshelves as quietly as possible (with all of them supporting Gurathin who was not shaped for climbing), and heading for the door out to the main corridor. They looked both ways and slipped across into the girls’ toilets one by one. I held my breath every time one of the SecUnits on the nearby front door looked around, and held it even more when the BattleBot did. Once they’d made it, Mensah popped back out to give the nearest camera the signal and Ratthi followed her to wave cheerfully.

I waited until they were in and pressed the button.

“Alert. Alert. Security breach at side door. Eight plush toys and one SecUnit. Breach in progress, lock is open.”

Yes, I was telling on myself, and I hadn’t discussed it with Mensah, but I needed them to take this seriously. A SecUnit going rogue was believable enough to get them moving. The SecUnits on the side door were looking around, confused, fully aware there wasn’t a breach in progress. The SecUnits on the front door conferred briefly, then both of them grabbed onto the BattleBot and it took off running with them hanging from its shoulders. GreyChris, Tlacey and the remaining SecUnits burst out of the butterfly room and ran down the corridor towards the side door as well.

Mensah and the others ran out of the bathroom to the front door and started to form a stack with Gurathin and Ratthi at the bottom and Mensah at the top with the key.

I slammed the PA button again as the bad guys formed a confused mob around the side door. “Alert. Alert. Breach in caterpillar room. Window broken.” Not much chance of that, I’m 87% sure the glass in there is bulletproof. They milled around, not sure whether to follow the new alert or be deeply suspicious of it.

The front door opened, spilling toys out of it as the tower collapsed, Mensah rolling out of sight of the camera. On a different camera Grey Chris waved his paws, clearly giving orders, and the mob started to organise itself. It was time for me to get out of there.

Which was easier said than done, since without someone else to hold the string I couldn’t make it back to the ceiling. My plan was to get to the side door and try to mingle with the other SecUnits before Grey Chris sorted out the chaos too much and worked out which one was missing.

The door to the room I was in was ajar and I shouldered my way through it, telling myself that the empty corridors weren’t at all spooky and nor was the chance something might jump out at me. I hoped that if something did it at least wouldn’t be a BattleBot. It seemed like miles to the side door, miles of completely empty corridor where I was the only thing moving. I found myself creeping and realised too late I should have been running, because by the time I reached the side door Grey Chris had everyone in three groups, two SecUnits and a BattleBot to each.

“Front door, monitor room, caterpillar room,” he said, pointing at each of them. “Go!”

I hadn’t left myself anywhere to hide. As soon as they turned they saw me.

“Alert! Rogue SecUnit!” one of the other SecUnits said, which might have been totally unfair. What if I’d just taken a while to respond to the alarm? I hadn’t been the only one missing (the one tied up in the ceiling was still up there).

I turned and ran. A BattleBot got hold of my leg, hand squeezing until my plastic cracked (I’ve been calling it armour, but apart from my helmet my armour is me) before I managed to kick it off and get to my feet again. My only hope was to get to the front door before they did. If I could hide outside then I could hunker down for the night and move once the daycare was open. If I had to hide inside I was cornered. Even if it took them days to find me, eventually they’d manage.

My leg was warping slightly with each step and something in my knee wasn’t right, but I kept ahead of them. I tripped on the door jamb, tumbled into a flower pot and then threw myself over the edge of it and crawled through a shrubbery. The BattleBots were bigger than me, and twigs would catch in their meccano limbs.

Something grabbed my ankle, cracking damaged plastic further, and I twisted around to see a SecUnit holding onto me. I kicked it in the helmet, and it retaliated by dragging itself up my body and pounding on my chest until my helmet opened, then pounding on my head. I think something in my cheek cracked as well and I was dazed enough to let it twist my arms behind me and stand up.

Mensah stepped out of the undergrowth, super glue lid in her beak, and squeezed the bottle with her wing. Glue squirted across both of the SecUnits knees and it fell over.

I stared at her, still on my knees from where I’d been about to be hauled to my feet. “You were supposed to leave,” I said.

She pushed the lid back on the glue. “We’re leaving now,” she said. “Come on.”

* * *

One miserable, stumbling run that gradually lapsed into a walk later we were in a copse of trees on the edge of a playpark. The sun had come up, making this a bad time to try to cross a road. (Cars are much, much bigger than they look on TV. I realised I might subconsciously watch TV with the assumption the humans in it are about my size.)

Mensah was glueing me back together while Arada and Overse, for lack of anything better to do, tried to get glue out of Ratthi’s fur with a twig.

“Are you all right, SecUnit?” Arada asked.

I didn’t answer that because I couldn’t see an answer that wouldn’t lead to more conversation. I’d been planning to go back once they were home, because the daycare was familiar and there was youTube to watch and where else would I go? Now I’d burned my bridges and the question was looming large.

“We’ll be home tomorrow,” Ratthi said.

“Tomorrow night,” Pin Lee corrected.

Ratthi looked at me sideways with friendly black eyes. “You know, Sev loves getting new toys.”

I looked down at my legs. The new cracks. The old cracks. The patina of ancient glue. By no stretch of the imagination was I a new toy.

“We can talk tomorrow,” Overse said, planting herself between Ratthi and me and reaching over to take a turn combing his fur. “Everyone’s exhausted.”

“We need to set watches,” Mensah said, and I wondered if she also watched adventure shows. She could star in one herself, after that dramatic rescue with the glue. A cartoon, probably, but she’d still be pretty cool.

* * *


	2. Going Home

During my watch I scrambled up to the lowest branch of one of the trees we were hiding near to get a better look at the playpark. It was a familiar sensation, hiding while a bunch of screaming children ran around nearby, although there was more of a mix of age groups here than in the caterpillar room and they came in family groups.

There was a bit of a space theme going on in the park. The jungle gym was done up like a spaceship with a face painted on the front, there were things on springs for children to ride that were shaped like smaller spaceships, the roundabout had a sun painted in the middle and planets painted around the edge. I’m not sure the kids appreciated it as much as they appreciated the chance to hang from things, spin around and yell but it was a nice thought.

On one side the playpark bordered the pavement we’d come down and the road beyond it. On another, the side we were on now, trees ran the length of a fence with an alley behind it. On the remaining two sides it opened onto a field, a space for children to run around screaming some more but this time with balls. There was an ice cream kiosk sitting on the corner between the road and the playpark and a building with toilets a bit further into the field.

When my watch was up I poked Ratthi awake and then sat down next to him.

“Are all Sev’s toys handmade?” I asked.

“Gurathin’s not,” he said. “And they have some plastic dinosaurs.”

“Right,” I said. It was embarrassing to say, but I needed information. I needed to know what my options were. “Any action figures?”

Ratthi looked uncomfortable, so at least I wasn’t the only one. “Sev’s parents don’t like giving money to corporations. But it’s not as if they’d be paying for you.”

With Gurathin they must have given into their kid’s begging. Technically I would be less threat to their morals since, as Ratthi said, they wouldn’t have to give anyone money for me. On the other hand Gurathin was a stuffed dog, he was corporate made but I was _merchandise_. I was probably inherently corrupting to a kid raised on fluffy animals. That was assuming the kid would want a messed up second-hand action figure to begin with.

“My fabric was made in a factory by Schulte, that’s still a company,” Ratthi said. “We’re not so different.”

It didn’t matter whether we were different. What mattered was whether humans thought we were.

“I’m going to sleep,” I told him.

I didn’t actually go back to sleep, just curled up between some tree roots and wished I had youTube to watch. Maybe I could forget about kids, just hide out in some human’s house forever and watch youTube at night.

The sound of something moving nearby pulled me out of my thoughts and I was already fully alert when Ratthi’s paw shook my shoulder. I left him to wake the others while I scaled the tree I had been up earlier.

Bushes were moving ominously on both sides of us and while I couldn’t make out what it was to the left, to the right a flash of colour revealed the intruder as Tlacey’s ComfortLight unicorn. The strip of trees was the only sensible place to hide in the whole park, whoever was here must have spread out down the alley and entered it at different points. I should have seen that coming, I should have moved us somewhere, but I hadn’t really believed they’d follow us. We couldn’t possibly be worth the effort.

I slithered back down to where Sev’s toys formed a knot at the base of the tree.

“We’re surrounded,” I said. “There’s someone on both sides of us and they’ve got to have someone in the alley.”

Mensah nodded, scared but not surprised. “What should we do?”

I didn’t know. This was my first time outside the daycare, my first time even seeing a playpark. I told myself that I knew disasters, I knew places full of kids and bad guys. “Last resort, out into the park,” I said. They’d be stuck with whatever the humans did to them, there, but these kids were a bit older than the caterpillar room kids. They’d survive. (If someone decided to take them home they’d never get back to Sev, but I wasn’t thinking about that.) “For now, climb.” I pointed to the tree I’d been up. Even the BattleBots, which can climb themselves (unlike Grey Chris or the unicorn) don’t always think to look up, it was one of the secrets to how I’d got around the daycare undetected. With nowhere else to go, if we got above their heads and kept still we might stand a chance.

Overse, Arada and Bharadwaj, small, light and with arms and legs decently long in proportion to their body, climbed relatively easily, especially with Ratthi lifting them part of the way. I wanted to carry Mensah up next since she was light enough, but she wouldn’t go before the others and arguing would draw attention. Instead I climbed up myself and leant down to grab Volescu’s paw as Ratthi lifted him. I was already wondering how the hell we were going to get Gurathin up (and it may sound convenient that the toy I didn’t like was the one my plan wouldn’t work for, but I was doing the best I could) as I struggled to pull Volescu up without overbalancing.

A BattleBot burst out from the undergrowth. Ratthi hastily let go of Volescu and backed away from the tree. I willed myself heavier, still holding Volescu by the paw, while the three toys up the tree with me grabbed on and added their meagre weight. Volescu’s three other paws scrabbled at the bark, trying to find a grip, and then he froze as the BattleBot stood up, lights flashing across its chest. A moment later the unicorn entered the area from the other direction.

“Surrender,” said the BattleBot.

Tlacey stepped through the fence from the alley, dragging a plastic bag. “In here,” she said, holding it open.

The BattleBot threw Mensah in like throwing a basketball into a net (I’ve watched sports, too) and the unicorn shoved Ratthi over from behind allowing the BattleBot to scoop up the larger teddy bear and throw him in too. I was struggling between the need to hold Volescu up and the need to get down there when Pin Lee, in the process of being stuffed into the bag by Tlacey herself, stuck her head out and grabbed one of the handles in her beak. She threw it around Gurathin’s neck and he charged out into the park, dragging the other toys behind him.

* * *

Gurathin had to freeze as soon as he was far enough into the park to be noticed, of course, and nobody could do anything when a woman picked the bag of toys up and started asking around about whether it belonged to anyone. Or when she was directed to the ice cream kiosk, which kept lost property in the back room.

I even thought that was a good thing — they’d be safe there, maybe I could retrieve them when the park closed for the day — until Tlacey directed her unicorn to follow them while she waited for the last two BattleBots to catch up. Was Tlacey really going to try to grab them in a park full of humans? I didn’t know, but watching her also move off towards the kiosk with all the BattleBots in tow made my insides so heavy I could almost hold Volescu up after all.

Almost. I dropped him as soon as they were gone and said, “Quick, into the alley while they’re not there, we can find something to hide under there.”

The something was a pile of cardboard boxes and a washing machine that we didn’t dare try hiding inside for fear of being trapped if they came back. I hoped Tlacey would focus on Mensah and her group in the belief (unfortunately correct) that Sev’s other toys wouldn’t go far without them. I told them to stay put unless they were at risk of being discovered and set off to do some reconnaissance.

Tlacey’s toys only had to get to the ice cream kiosk while hiding from humans, who weren’t looking for them. I had to worry about hiding from them when they were. The only real cover in the playground was the strip of trees down the side I was watching from. There were bushes near the ice cream kiosk, but that only made it worse since they could be full of BattleBots and I wouldn’t be able to tell from here. I mostly learned that the kiosk only had one door, the door at the front visible from the play area itself, and that I needed to find higher ground.

Since it seemed to be lunch time (families were scattering to the benches and grass areas) I decided I could risk climbing the jungle gym for a look.

It had been designed for kids to climb, not toys, but there was a speaking tube running up the side of it from a few feet off the ground to the “control panel” (with lots of random levers and dials to twist and spin) near the top of the slide. There was a pair of googly eyes above the trumpet-shaped openings at each end of the tube, turning them into perpetually startled faces. I have no idea whether the speaking tube actually worked, or whether kids even needed it to scream at each other, but I shimmied up it undetected. There was a McDonald’s bag stuffed in the corner of the control panel, so I climbed inside that and poked a few holes in it for scouting purposes, just in case anyone was looking this way.

In a bush outside the single door to the kiosk I saw a meccano limb poke out followed by a head with red battery-operated eyes. I leaned forward, careful not to overbalance, and tried to see if all three BattleBots were waiting there.

“You were lucky you weren’t seen” said a resonant voice.

I jumped, tangled myself up in the McDonalds bag while twisting around, and poked my head out of the top to see who it was. The speaking tube was looking at me, previously trumpet shaped mouth forming a wide smirk and silly goggly eyes extremely focused.

“You’re a speaking tube?” I said. That had to suck, although at least it came with a certain robustness.

A few levers and switches toggled themselves next to me and a chain thing (it looked like practice for safety chains on doors) lifted up and poked me in the bag. “No,” it said.

I looked around myself at the silver metal and bright plastic of the jungle gym, an “ARTitektr” logo stamped upon several of those plastic pieces. From here I couldn’t see the face at the front, but I knew it was there, turning the whole jungle gym into a single character. I was about six feet off the ground, sitting on part of someone who would take up a significant amount of the caterpillar room.

It poked me again.

I froze. Full on human-just-walked-into-the-room froze, I even returned to my neutral position.

The control board tilted just enough to send me rolling down it and the chain reached into the bag to wrap around my ankle. It shook me a few times until the bag fell off and the speaking tube leaned in to examine me. It felt like being picked up by a human, the way you know they can do anything they want to you, except this wasn’t a human. I didn’t _have_ to stay still and let this happen.

I twisted, threw myself forward so I could grab a lever, and pulled with all my strength until my leg popped out of the socket. Then I rolled forward, off-balance thanks to the sudden lack of a leg, flailed around until I gripped the top edge of the control panel and went to throw myself over the edge.

“Wait!” said the speaking tube, looking shocked for real this time. “At least let me put your leg back on.”

Since I didn’t actually want to hurl myself six feet to the ground, even a ground covered with soft wood chips, I stopped. Since I wasn’t stupid (not that stupid anyway) I didn’t move away from the edge.

“I didn’t mean to frighten you,” it said. “I was merely curious.”

Yeah, well, its curiosity had cost me a leg, so I wasn’t feeling much inclined to chat. I looked away from it and back at the kiosk trying to see whether the BattleBots hiding in the bushes had seen me try to dive off a jungle gym.

“Please move down the control panel so I can return your leg,” said the jungle gym. I decided to call it ART after the logo.

ART’s chain was still holding my leg by the ankle and I did need it back if I was going to be any use to Sev’s toys. I slid cautiously down the control panel and held still while my leg was reattached. ART popped it back into place neatly and then unwound the chain from my ankle, which made me feel much better about the situation.

“Can you see the toys outside the ice cream kiosk?” I asked.

“Yes,” ART said. “What are they doing there? They don’t appear to be turning themselves in to lost property.”

“There are some other toys inside that they’re after, toys trying to get back to their owner. They’ll grab them once the humans are gone.”

“What do they want them for? It is unusual for toys to attack one another.”

“They live at a daycare,” I said. Would ART even know what one of those was? “A place where parents can leave their kids during the day. The little kids are rough, so they always need new toys for that room. If Grey Chris and his gang shove enough new ones in there it won’t ever be them.”

“You are very fragile, to be at risk from juvenile humans,” it said.

“We can’t all be giant metal hulks,” I snapped.

“I see.” The shock of seeing me pop my leg out was wearing off and ART was regaining its smirk, but it still sounded a bit more subdued than it had. “I will help you.”

“Why?” I asked.

It said, “I am still curious about this situation. Besides, many children play on me, I would not want any of my crew to be separated from their toys.”

I huffed, but I wasn’t in much position to be turning down help. “What can you do?” I asked. “Even once the humans are gone, you can’t walk over there.” Could it? I was pretty sure it couldn’t.

“I am more familiar than you with the workings of this park,” it said. “If you explain the situation to me in detail I may be able to come up with a plan.”

I explained the situation.

“Lead your friends to me once the humans leave for the night, then I will be able to defend them and deal with their attackers,” ART said.

I looked at its speaking tube. “That’s not a plan.”

“It is a highly effective plan,” ART said, miffed.

“How am I meant to get them here? The BattleBots are going to get to them before I do once the humans leave.”

“You could get to them now,” said ART. When I just looked confused it rolled its eyes and continued. “Toys found without an owner are taken to lost property.”

Right. I glanced down at myself. “Are you sure they wouldn’t just put me in the bin?”

“It would help if you looked more like a toy someone cared about.”

Ha. Not much chance of that. “I look how I look.”

“Not every child who loves their toys is careful with them,” said ART. “I have a suggestion.”

* * *

“And that’s why ART thinks we should customise me,” I finished, holding out the felt pen ART had directed me to. “So I look more like I belong to someone.”

Bharadwaj nodded thoughtfully and picked up the pen, holding it as near the point as she could without getting ink on her hands. Arada and Overse stood behind her to take the weight of the pen and steady it for her. Sev’s toys worked together well like that. It wasn’t the way toys under Grey Chris were organised, it was that they knew each other well enough to to guess what one another needed. They were friends.

“What kind of designs do you want?” Bharadwaj asked, pointing the felt tip at my arm.

“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “It’s only felt tip. It’ll wipe off later.”

She smiled at me and I realised her own features had been drawn on with black marker at some point. “If I’m going to draw on you it might as well be something you like.”

I didn’t know what I liked. “Just draw some stars or a spaceship or something,” I said, taking inspiration from my surroundings. (I don’t know if I’m a scifi toy, I’ve never looked up my own show, but my armour could be a spacesuit since it has the helmet).

Bharadwaj carefully drew a line of three stars down each arm and a spaceship on my chest, inside a circle like a logo. It was a bit wobbly, what with the size of the pen, but that just made it look more like a kid had done it.

“Should we label you?” asked Volescu. “They’re more likely to take you to lost property if you have someone’s name on you.”

“We could write ‘Preservation’,” said Arada. “Or ‘Sev’ if their full name won’t fit.”

“No, that’s weird,” I said. I wasn’t Sev’s toy and I wasn’t going to pretend I was. I held out my foot. “Write ‘Eden’.” Eden is the name of a _Sanctuary Moon_ character because if I’m going to pretend to be owned by a human it might as well be a pretend human.

I stood up when Bharadwaj was finished, grimacing slightly and trying to be careful of the foot with felt tip on the bottom. I didn’t want to smudge it.

“Should anyone come with you?” Overse asked.

“No,” I said. It was going to be hard enough protecting the ones already in there, the last thing I needed was more of them putting themselves in danger. “Just stay here and don’t do anything stupid.”

* * *

I told myself it wasn’t so different from putting myself on the floor in the caterpillar room. Just pick a spot no one’s looking at, walk out and drop. Thing is, while toys in the caterpillar room are communal property, toys here belonged to whichever kid had brought them, and most of them assumed I was with someone else. Not a problem, except that the adults weren’t noticing me either and no one was going to take me to lost property if they didn’t realise I was lost. I was wondering whether I should risk moving myself somewhere more obvious when a hand closed around me and a little girl lifted me to eye level. She was somewhere in the 4-6 age range, I think. Butterfly room age.

Then I was suddenly sweeping a Barbie in a labcoat up in a dramatic rescue just as two evil pinecones closed in. Which was frankly embarrassing since I wound up posed with my arms wrapped around her, leaning against each other, while the girl went to fetch a plastic robot over to us.

“Uh, sorry,” I whispered.

“Don’t worry about it,” the Barbie whispered back. “Glinda’s always posing Miki and I like this when we rescue each other.”

Then Glinda was back and the story continued. I’d never been played with in an age-appropriate manner before and it was a weird experience, a bit like being in a much less coherent version of the shows I liked. Glinda decided I was called Ren, but changed her mind several times about whether I was a robot or not.

Then Glinda’s mom called her and while Glinda was gone the robot said, “Hi, Ren. I’m glad Glinda found you,” so sincerely I wasn’t sure how to respond.

“Yeah,” I muttered, not even sure whether it was true.

“She might bring you home and then we can be friends,” it continued.

“I can’t,” I blurted in alarm. “I need to get to lost property.”

“You have a kid to get back to?” the Barbie said, sympathetically, and I nodded.

The robot cocked its head in confusion. “But you didn’t come with any of the children here now.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I’ve been lost for a while.”

“If you need to get to lost property, just make sure Glinda’s mother notices you while you’re still in the park,” the Barbie said.

I followed that advice and activated a voice clip while Glinda was furtively shoving me in her bag.

“Glinda,” her mom said, resigned. “What do you have in your bag?”

Poor Glinda looked upset enough at handing me over to make me feel bad. Her mom, on the other hand, gave me a look of disgust that had me worried I was about to wind up in the bin.

“Glinda, I’ve told you not to just pick toys up. You don’t know where it’s been,” she said.

“But Don Abene and Miki need Ren,” Glinda protested. “No one else can protect them.”

Her mom reluctantly picked me up and turned me over, relief flashing across her face when she saw the name on my foot. “See, Ren already has an owner, and I’m sure they want it back,” she said. “I’ll take it to lost property.”

It took a little while longer before Glinda admitted that she wouldn’t like it if someone kept one of her toys and agreed to be placated with ice cream. Glinda’s mom asked the ice cream vendor if he could put me in lost property and he agreed, balancing me on the counter for a moment while he finished serving the queue.

Miki waved furtively from the backpack as Glinda walked away but Glinda herself, already chattering happily to her mother about a snail she’d seen, didn’t look back.

* * *

The vendor chucked me unceremoniously into the box, on top of the fuzzy pile already in there. I climbed out quickly once he was gone (no, I don’t like being on top of people) and Sev’s toys spilled out after me, exclaiming and asking how I was. Behind them three brightly coloured ponies stood up and hooked their front legs over the edge of the box, watching the reunion.

“Are any of you hurt?” I asked, looking Sev’s toys over quickly

“No,” Mensah said. “What about the others? What about you?”

“Hiding outside the park,” I said. “I don’t think anyone’s looking for them, Tlacey’s group are all hiding out around this place. And I’m here.” They could see I was fine and, since ART had put my leg back, no one needed to know about that incident.

“We’re trapped then,” said Gurathin.

“After the humans leave we need to get to the jungle gym as quickly as possible,” I told them. “I can hold the BattleBots off long enough for you to make it.” I hoped. “The jungle gym agreed to help us, so once we’re there we’ll be safe.” I waved at the ponies with their fluffy, multicoloured manes, listening in curiously. “What about them?”

“Don’t worry about us,” said the pony with rainbow braids piled on her head and looped around her ears. “Divarti leaves us places all the time, but she always comes back for us.”

I believed her, those braids had taken real time and effort.

There had been ponies in the daycare, scuffed up, dirty and faded, their manes tangled or ripped out. I hadn’t even realised they were meant to be that bright.

“The toys outside aren’t going to care about that,” I said. “If you’re here when they close their net you’re going to wind up in a bad place.”

The pony with her white mane tied up in little tufts with silver ribbon said, “How bad?”

“Pretty bad,” I said, gesturing to my own cracks.

The ponies turned towards each other, arguing quietly. I heard the rainbow one say, “But surely they wouldn’t take us, we’re not the toys they’re looking for,” and the white maned one say something withering in return. Then the third one, the one with the purple mane, turned to me. “What should we do?”

“Come with us,” I said. “Hide on the jungle gym and come back here once the bad toys leave.”

Mensah’s beak turned down unhappily. “I’m sorry we’ve put you in danger like this, but SecUnit’s right. We’ll do everything we can to get you back to Divarti safely.”

With any luck it wouldn’t come to that, I didn’t want anyone hurt. But when have I ever had any luck?

* * *

The way to ART was more or less diagonally across the park, past the row of spaceships on springs. The roundabout on one side and the swings on the other made hulking shapes in the gathering gloom, but not half as ominous, or as reassuring, as the huge silhouette of ART. With the humans gone the BattleBots would be entering the building soon, and I intended to get out there before they did. I took one last look at everyone, soft toys in a mass with the nervous ponies tucked in the middle, and then I put my head down and sprinted through door towards the spaceships.

I’d been hoping to draw off the BattleBots but only one followed me, quickly gaining on me with its long, angular legs. I climbed the spring like a ladder, leaning out precariously to grab the moulded engine under one wing and swing myself up. The BattleBot followed and I edged out along the wing, as it climbed, stopping once I was cornered on the tip.

“I will tear you apart,” the BattleBot informed me. Then it pounced and I threw myself flat, holding onto the wing for dear life. It went down under the force of the BattleBot’s landing, the spring bending so it could dip, and then it went back up. I was weightless, held down only by my hands gripping the wing, but the BattleBot wasn’t held in place by anything at all. It ploughed into the woodchips six yards away and stood up, lights flashing erratically.

When I looked back at Tlacey’s group one of the other BattleBots had started towards me and the third one, along with Tlacey and the unicorn, were watching us. Behind them a huddle of toys was slipping past.

“Hey,” I called to the BattleBot. “Want to try that again?”

It was heading towards the spring again, but it wasn’t stupid. It wasn’t going to jump on me like that again. I headed for the body of the spaceship and then, when it was climbing, ran out along the other wing and jumped to the wing of the next spaceship. I’m not as heavy as a BattleBot, but I hung on tight after landing.

Instead of climbing up to the spaceship I was on the second BattleBot started climbing the one ahead of me, cutting me off. I hoped the third one was coming to climb the spaceship I was on, that would just leave Tlacey and her unicorn near the others.

Then the unicorn yelled, “Tlacey!” It was lit up, soft colours gleaming in soothing patterns through its fur, and charging at the group of fleeing toys. The third BattleBot, the one I’d hoped was coming after me, spread its arms, ready to claw, and followed the unicorn.

I threw myself back onto the tip of the wing I’d just jumped from, hurling myself at it with all my strength, and found myself in sickening flight a moment later. I angled myself as I fell and hit the third BattleBot in the side of the head with my whole body, knocking us both over and cracking something in my chest. I rolled away from it as I hit the ground, knowing I hadn’t done more than annoy it, but Sev’s toys were ahead of it and streaming towards the jungle gym. Only Mensah had stopped to look back. I snatched her up, held her to my chest, and ran as fast as I could.

We were the first to reach ART, the enraged BattleBot on our heels, and the first thing I noticed was when it suddenly wasn’t. I turned to find that one of the lowest rungs of the jungle gym had lowered itself still further, dipping into a V, and wrapped itself around the BattleBot’s neck. I dropped Mensah and ran back out, shoving Ratthi into the shadow of ART’s frame as I did. A rope ladder tied itself around another BattleBot, the end of a slide coming down to pin the third. I leaned my head against the side of ART’s frame and took a deep breath.

“Hey, give that _back!_ ” someone yelled, shattering my moment of relief.

The rainbow pony was facing off with Tlacey, just too far away for ART to reach. Tlacey was holding a ribbon she must have grabbed from one of those intricate braids, and the fashion doll probably didn’t look that dangerous compared to the BattleBots. I started running. The pony stretched her head forward to try to grab the ribbon in her mouth and Tlacey dug her nails into the pony’s mane and pulled her forward. Tlacey’s other hand produced a large needle from where it had been threaded into her skirt. She placed it against the pony’s eye and looked straight at me.

“Stay there,” she said.

I stopped. “Let her go,” I said. “I’ll come back with you.”

“You’ll come back with me, anyway,” Tlacey said. She turned to the unicorn. “Watch the SecUnit,” she said. Then, to me again. “Follow.”

She turned away, starting to lead the pony across the park. I looked at the unicorn, wondering whether I could take it down before it shouted. It looked at me, at Tlacey, at the ponies watching tearfully from ART’s shadow, at the lower end of ART’s speaking tube watching with its eyes narrowed. Slowly and deliberately, the unicorn closed its eyes.

I launched myself forward, grabbed Tlacey’s hair in my hands while bracing my feet on her back, and pulled her head off her neck. Her body flailed towards me, so I threw her head as far as I could and pulled its limbs off for good measure.

When I turned back to Sev’s toys they were looking at me with various degrees of shock. I shrugged. “Someone can still put her back together if they really want to,” I said.

“They shouldn’t,” said ART, sounding approving.

Pin Lee screamed a warning just as something stabbed me in the back. I turned to see Tlacey’s arm, shoulder buried in the dirt and hand closed into a fist around the needle.

Something felt very wrong.

* * *

I don’t remember the next part, not properly. Tlacey stabbed my factory reset, which didn’t work because it was full of glue, but for a while my brain was trying really hard to delete itself.

I remember the road, how much I kept insisting we couldn’t cross because it was dangerous while Mensah patiently pointed out again and again that it was empty.

I remember panicking when something huge and fluffy picked me up. Grey Chris, come to check the reset was working this time. Except it wasn’t, it was someone brown, mohair not flannel, and I’d just punched Ratthi in the nose.

I rode Gurathin across the road in the end, and he let me clutch his ears the whole way. (He hasn’t even brought it up since.)

I remember demanding to know where the ponies were and being told they’d stayed on ART, that their owner would definitely find them there if she checked the park for them the next day.

I remember sneaking in through a window and being hidden in a box, uncomfortably tangled up with the rest of the group as we were moved around all day by humans. But at least they were all toys I was familiar with, I don’t think I could have handled being in a box with strangers.

“We’re moving,” I said, feeling the rumble of an engine.

“Yes,” Mensah said. “We got back in time to move house.”

“I don’t live here, though,” I said.

“I know. We haven’t let Sev see you. You can make that decision later.”

I remember the next day, when Sev was at kindergarten, watching television on an actual television for the first time. The screen was bigger than I was and I was allowed to have the sound on.

It was good. You’ve all been really good to me.

* * *

My mind is clear now, or as clear as it ever was, and when I started this message I thought it was going to be my goodbye. I wanted you to know, Mensah, how much you’ve meant to me even if there’s no place for me here. I’ve watched enough of Sev’s games to know they’re not the right kind of games for an action figure.

I don’t hate the thought of being played with, though. I didn’t really mean any more to Glinda than the pinecones, but she was gentle and I helped her tell her story. I’ve seen how gentle Sev is with all of you.

I hate the thought of being thrown away. Or not picked up. Being unwanted. But that’s going to be the same with any child, isn’t it? Maybe it’s worth trying with the one that’s here. Putting myself on Sev’s bed and seeing what happens.

If I do get thrown away, don’t worry. I expect I’ll survive. I have so far.

But wherever I end up I won't see you again.


End file.
